Tonight for dinner: PILES of broccoli, uncooked muffin batter.

...this can't be right.
I'm happy with my life. I'm excited about my classes and maybe-flirting with a cute boy and in a fandom I love and actually getting along okay with my family. My second family of old friends are actually more available than usual, and I feel like I can ask to play with them. My roommates are cooperative and adorable in a baby-kittens way. I'm eating a balanced diet and exercising regularly.

...why, exactly, I'm still having trouble getting out of bed and tired all the time and all the rest of it, I don't know and would like to find out. Presumably it means I need different meds, because this is depression even though there is no cause for depression. Or it might be the fibromyalgia really getting a grip; I have a lot more aches and pains than I used to. But I would like it to stop, whatever it is.



IN OTHER NEWS: I was trying to downsize my mother's applesauce recipe to be A) makeable in individual portions B) within a half-hour space C) by small children with supervision, for my Preschool Methods class. Originally, I bought six apples for experimenting. This morning, in the depths of despair, I returned to the grocery store and bought two dozen. I promptly discovered what I had been doing wrong and now have twenty-two apples.

...There will be a lot of apple-eating in my future. I'm also considering giving apples to my teachers and hoping they're amused, or something, because LOTS OF APPLES. ^_^
Notes from under the pile of academia that is currently my life:


  • Useful skill I can never put on a resume: being able to tell from the water pressure in the locker room showers when someone has flushed the toilet and is about to scald me
  • We have now arrived at the "social competence" sections of two of my classes about child development, and I hate this part, mostly because it makes me sit around thinking about all the things I/myparents/theworld got wrong when I was very young. I am the damn far-reaching consequences my professors are warning about. *pbbbt*
  • People, not capitalising your fics does not make you mysterious or especially literary or whatever it is you are trying to achieve. It merely means that it would take four strong recommendations from people I trust to stop me immediately back-buttoning. The capital letters help me keep track of where on the screen I belong, for one thing.
  • Remind me again why my doctor won't let me have a hysterectomy?
  • I hate how I make myself stress. I am very dumb that way.
  • Mmmm turkey sandwich
  • Jon Walker is getting his hair cut and I am sad because I wanted video from Jo'burg of him playing with the hilarious hair. But happy because I didn't really want him to keep it forever.
  • Item: Friendiest is student-teaching sixth and seventh grade home ec; they are doing a unit on childcare and she asked me to be a guest lecturer. I did one this morning and am going back for the afternoon. I do not know how she does it. It's creepy the way they all, like, actually listen to you! And raise their hands politely and stuff! Most disconcerting thing EVER!!

    They really liked the fingerpainting, though; and I adore how much fun it was to get them to admit they were into "The Little Old Lady Who Wasn't Afraid of Anything."

    This afternoon, I will do better! I will not ramble so much and also, I will remember to tell them the number one thing I want them to know. *facepalm*


  • Item: Somebody ran over a squirrel in the middle of my street. Its body is squashed flat but its tail is still standing straight up like a little pine tree. It is the saddest thing ever.


  • Item: I think Starbucks is cheating me out of my flavoring. Aside from that, though, I love how competent the baristas here are; they listen to me! And know what they are doing! It's AWESOME!!!

  • Item: I hate the HOME inventory. That is all.

  • Item: all you out there complaining that your stories are too long, I have a big old raspberry for you. But it's an affectionate one! I'm excited for your stories, it's just that my stories have size envy.
The Apple support forums consider the abbreviation WTF to be obscene enough to be replaced with asterisks.

It's almost amusing enough to save me from being murderously irritated by iTunes.

Not quite, but almost.
Hey, um, I know this is a random question for one in the morning, but what channel was Buffy on when it was on the air? Was Angel on the same channel?

ETA: Found already, by jingo! [livejournal.com profile] chickadilly rocks!
Important discovery number one: Very cute guy in my Meteorology class. A pity I'm established as a front-row girl...eye candy would make this class so much more tolerable.

Important discovery number two: This campus sells cheap but delicious sherbet. Mmm.

Important discovery number three: No, I really do either have to go to bed earlier or figure out where the alarm clock is hiding on my cell phone.

Corollary: The couches provided for studying by the college are not soft enough for sleeping on. Must stock the back seat of my car.

Important discovery number four: The location of an outlet on the top floor of the student center. BLAST THEM, is the world not yet aware that college students have laptops and laptops need to be plugged in?




My new schedule has me set up to spend my mid-afternoons on-campus. This was brilliant, as it gives me time to do my work, when I have absolutely nowhere else to be. However, I am discovering the annoyances of spending so much non-class time around here, as well.
LU: *comes back from fabulous movie Cars, which everybody should see immediately, and then make her icons*

LU: *flops down on bed to check flist and e-mail with her neck crooked funny because she had to move the desktop monitor over by her bed and the nightstand is too short*

LU: *thinks cross thoughts about laptops going missing and irreversible neck injury, begins to refresh and check flist*

LU'S DESKTOP: *goes insane* *pings repeatedly* *tries to scan up when mouse is going down* *tries to scan down when mouse is sitting still* *pings repeatedly some more*

LU: VILE, VILE instrument of chaos and outdated technology! I cannot wait for you to stop going insane so that I can write a wrathful LJ entry about you! Where is that keyboard so that I can do it?

LU'S WIRELESS KEYBOARD: *is under her knee, trying to make the computer open iTunes fifty times and force the internet to page up and down simultaneously, leading to pinging and insane mouse movements*

LU:...

LU: Stupid desktop.



...if it were a laptop the keyboard would be attached
Random things about my life:

I bought play-do yesterday.

And got to leave work for five hours, instead indulging my incredibly anal desire to have my memories categorised so that I can find things when I need them. Thankfully, only about fifty entries to re-label and I am done. When I am done, I'm going to make all of you look at the prettiness of my categorised fic memories.

I am educating Flatmate with further Firefly. Ooo, we loveses it.

Slept at my parents' last night. Man, that mattress sucks.

Did a beta job for the first time in...like, ever. I miss it!

Reading Peter Whimsey. If ANY of the other books have all the dialogues spelt out like the one I just finished, I'm hucking them into a bonfire. My head hurts. And I so totally called the murderer in that one, but it was cool to see how complex it was. Not enough Bunter!

Catch-up!

Jun. 28th, 2003 01:19 am
June 24

*choke, gasp* Somebody catch me as I faint.

I just checked my e-mail, and was informed about a "Howdy Week" and was instructed to "get into yOUr world." (For those who missed it--it took me a while--the caps are meant to be the school's intials). It was signed, "Boomer Sooner! *some girl whose name I don't remember*."

HELP! HOW can I be going to NORMAN, OKLAHOMA to become a SOONER??????

How? What the HECK is going on? How did I wing up in this mess?

Amelia: Even if OU offered me a full-ride scholarship, I still wouldn't go. Period. I'm glad though that not only did they give you a full ride but that you also was okay with going. I'm sorry honey...how much I wished you had gone to the UM

Me: I thought so too, I thought I was fine w/ it, and then I saw that e-mail and I just...collapsed...it's so LUDICROUS. So incredibly and...and...ridiculously LUDICROUS.

HOWDY WEEK?

What the heck is...how did I wind up...

Oh, I am fine with it. Really. But my facades just collapsed. Even my facades to me.

There are so many good points...the money, which is not to be sneezed @, I loved the poetry teacher I met, it's a beautiful campus, and of all the great signs I struck up a conversation w/ a random stranger who turned out to be a WRITER in the airport...

But I keep feeling like I'm heading right back to high school. They're obsessed w/ their football team...they HAVE a "Howdy Week", the whole atmosphere is just...so..."Saved by the Bell," I guess. A big part of what I've wanted out of college is to get away from obsession w/ childish "pep rallys" etc...I bet you anything somebody'll be wrestling in condiments/jell-O before I graduate.

Ooooooohhh...

I'm whining. I know I'm whining. But this is one of the hard times...

Amelia: THIS IS AN EXEMPTION TO THE WHINING RULE. I PROMISE.

Me: *puzzled expression*--oh wait, there is one: --What is?

Amelia: C'mon, I can see where you're getting at. I mean the thought of doing high school over again...it's more than I can possibly bear. I'd honestly run away from home and live with my dear, logical, calm aunt/uncle in Cottonwood Heights. I think that the fact you're going to have to deal with high school mentalities all over again is a good enough reason if I ever saw one to rant, rave, and, most importantly, whine.

Me: Okay. And thanks...

It just...it just hits me in waves, you know? And today it caught me at neap tide...

All that got me through that WRETCHED spirit assembly was that it was the last I would have to face...and now I'm seriously starting to suspect it isn't...although it won't be as forced, true, but the thought of going back to being surrounded by people who throw themselves into it (and into Jell-O) wholeheartedly is getting me down.




June 27

I never finished the above entry…but I typed it onto the Euphony board, hence the responses. Then we went on to other things, as we often do. Will I ever find ANYONE to beta that for me? It’s only a tiny short fic, it wouldn’t take very long…

Today was…1st) Peaceful; 2nd)Irritating; 3rd) Amazing; 4th) Pleasant.

1st): Woke up late, watched a bit more of Earnest w/ Mom, sent her off, cleaned up the kitchen, and checked up on the boards. Had to leave for orientation in a bit of a rush.

2nd): Orientation was awful. Horrendously boring, redundant, and irritating. It also took, instead of the hour I was expecting at most, FOUR AND A HALF. I had to run home and quick wrap Marie’s present. Amla was late picking me up, but the concert was

3rd): I can’t believe I know such talented people! Marie was AMAZING. It was funny, though, afterwards, she hugged me and she was so wet w/ glow that I thought she’d kissed me for a minute. I need to get the trips co-ordinated, I kinda volunteered…and I’m glad I did. It’ll be fun to see it several times.

4th): After we picked up Chase and Tyler and just brought them back to the family room. Sleepy conversations. We soothed Tyler’s feelings by giving him a vague idea of what goes on PAGS. But did NOT break HOW. Discussions of religious points. Some totally random stuff. Just us, being us, happy and tired. This I love.

And now I’m typing this, because I know I’ve been horribly remiss lately.

Quickie updates on what I can remember: Showed off extensively @ the premier, and was thoroughly satisfied w/ myself. The last half of the book was read in a bit of a zombie-like state. I’ve been meaning to re-read it and form an opinion. Glad to have people I loved around me. Joey annoyed the bad place below out of me on the way home. He protested that Tyler, Jared, and co. were doing it, too…but they have special license, and also know which buttons are labeled “destruct” and which are not, and are careful to push only the safe ones. Joey refuses to learn.

Other Joey (Kimi’s bro) is a darling. Even though he wouldn’t let me get to him @ “Baby, I love you…” Oh, how I love my friends…I do hope we get a good video done, Apt7A was mildly amusing, and we would do a much better job than that. *quick guilty remembrance*: Sorry, Jake.

I do hope the Js will join us this summer. I don’t understand why we scare Shannon so badly. She does NOT strike me as a particularly good friend: she refuses to try and make friends w/ us, who are friends w/ them. WE’RE perfectly willing…and we usually behave pretty well around her, too. Perhaps I should take her some cookies when she gets back, or something…show goodwill. I want her to be comfortable.

Went back to Tony’s. Uneventful. STILL need to go back @ least once more. AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

Been a good girl and started considering college. Packing winter clothes, DIing old stuff. Now I have virtually nothing to wear. Realised I am the only girl in the ward going more than four hours away. UT is too insular.


Oh…Amy went to CO w/out warning. Very odd. OotP disc. going according to schedule. *happy hug self*.

And…MORE QUIZZES!!

Horse
What Is Your Animal Personality?

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Loving
You're the loving smile,the one that is entirely
devoted to others,especially that one
person.You really can't get them out of your
head,but then,you don't really want to.


What Kind of Smile are You?
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You are Psalms
You are Psalms.


Which book of the Bible are you?
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Elucreh
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I'm a Serval!

Because you're one of the smaller cats, you are often thought of

as an outsider. This doesn't mean you aren't a great person, though -

your big ears serve as a means of gaining greater perception,

and you're an active, fun individual to be around.




I’ve been building up for some time.
May 7:

Somebody needs to come up with flavor-changing ice cream.

Mrs. Bailey has started a matchmaking service (jeez, what is this? First Mrs. Wilde’s suggestions and now this…) and says she “already knows who I’m good for…” Yikes. She doesn’t know me all that well, what the HECK is going on?

Euphony today, started a story I’m actually excited abt. Although I’m really wishing I’d thought to do GK for my writer…or maybe ELK. I don’t know why I can’t THINK when I’m excited. Mrs. Wilde put me on the same letter committee as Jared, which somehow or other has never happened before. I think it’ll be fun…he’s a doll if you get him away from Jen. He doesn’t really…talk around her. I wonder why? Serious thumb impressions on that boy’s head…

Great Seminary on how to know a real prophet. I do adore Moore’s teaching. Why is it all the good ones go to teach Institute? Allred gave me something actually USEFUL in History…very, very good. Remember: CAWACC. Right. It’s so odd you pretty well have to.

Really creepy moment in Photo. That guy across the aisle who always tries to talk to me said something abt wanting to go into the darkroom alone w/ me, “Where all kinds of things can happen.” REALLY wierded me out. That kid is scary. That remark was scarier…esp since I don’t think he was kidding. *shiver.*

Found out that there are Choc Frog Cards (confirmed by JKR) on the female Founders. Good step…and I was RIGHT abt their roles in the building, too. I love having these instincts.

Amy’s B-Day!!! Jeez…an adult. An actual ADULT. Yeek. I’m not going to think abt it. Instead, I’m going to focus on the fact that she STILL HASN’T GIVEN ME THAT DRAWING!!! Bah! I want to give it to her at her party. Nice little gift I gave her today…reminded her that she has forty-five days ‘til the release, by which time she promised to be done w/ the fic. Heeheehee…I think I paid her back for being so awful yesterday. Heeheehee…I’m SO glad that this is happening, I can nag her unmercifully and I’ll have lots and LOTS to beta, too.

NOOOOOOOOO….I just…just…checked…the effects of…and she’s…oh, that girl has a lot to answer for. A LOT TO ANSWER FOR. I’ll kill her. I’ll kill her. I’ll kill her. How CAN she do this, how can she, how CAN she…? Now I have to start crying…and I thought she wasn’t…oh…I really want to vent abt this, but Abbey and Allison and franny read this journal. Dang. Need a new doc, will insert my feelings when they’ve read it.
May 6:

Success!! As regards the Founder’s Fic (which is starting to need a title) El is proud to announce that she has FINALLY found a book on the Middle Ages which will be helpful. And it’s FUN, too. Oh, listen to this (Code of the Burgundian “Barbarians”):
Of Those Things Which Happen by Chance:
2. In truth, if a lance or any kind of weapon shall have been thrown upon the ground or set there without intent to do harm, and if by accident a man or animal impales himself thereupon, we order that he to whom the weapon belongs shall pay nothing unless by chance he held the weapon in his own hands in such a manner that it could cause harm to a man…
and a really funny one about how if a man steals a dog he has to kiss the dog’s behind in front of the populace.

It’s really interesting and helpful, too, as well as amusing. The differences in treatment of women, in religion, in gifts, are really interesting. And it’s really helping me narrow down geo/pol origins.

Ady did an evil, evil thing to me: She handed me a new chapter to beta RIGHT BEFORE THE FREAKING EXAM. TOTALLY could not resist temptation, which means I TOTALLY couldn’t concentrate. Dang, I need to re-read hers. I’ve forgotten all these little details that are really, really important. ZEM!!! Oh well, hopefully I’ll have time to do so once the stupid tests are over.

Speaking of which, I am NOT happy: Jen offered to host study group tonight, which means guess who has to be the one to drag Tyler to it. I’d rather host. And I really, really, really hope that it helps all of us, because I’m starting to panic abt this. TWO DAYS!!!!

I love my turtle ring…

Finally went to get my pics of people from the photo basket. Amy’s right, all my pics of her are in profile. But she won’t be cute for them when she knows I’m taking them. Good one…really good one…of Jared, though, as it turns out, that extra .1 second WOULD have been a good idea. I don’t know how I’m going to manage to get this assignment in one time, not when I let myself miss yesterday and have no choice but to miss Fri. Had a minor epiphany in Calc: you can also test strip by uncovering, as well as covering. *hit self on head*.

People who have less AP testing than I do are markedly unsympathetic.

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