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May. 7th, 2006 02:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elucrehWell, that was...disgusting.
Of all the...I can't think of a horrified enough word, frankly.
So I went to Relief Society (the women's group at my church) today, and the lesson was on "strengthening marriages, homes, and families." Now, being a church for single people, we generally focus on strengthening the families we were born into or the families that we create amongst ourselves--roommates and so on. Which is all very edifying and a good thing to do. But no. Today's teacher wanted to teach us about what marriage can do for us.
Now, I am not decrying marriage. I have seen many wonderful examples of it, and I know that it can be fun and fulfilling and a wonderful thing to have around. You only have to read about![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kaalee and her copilot, or thetreacletart and Mr. Tart, to see that having a committed, loving romantic relationship, sharing your life with someone, can be a fantastic thing if you're both working for it to be so. And I hope that someday--way down the line--I will find someone who I know and trust enough to commit to them in that way. I am a firm supporter of marriage as a way to enrich people's lives.
HOWEVER, I object to spending an hour being told that 1) women needed men in the past to provide food and roofs over their heads and had no choice but to be married; and 2) women still need men because they are not complete without them. Hi, my name is Lu and I'm not a person.
Seriously! An hour spent discussing how we should always be ready to get married as soon as we're proposed to, how we should always be reading books on how to maintain a marriage and raise children, how God wants us, above all else, to be married.
I'm sorry, my God wants, above all else, for me to be happy. Yes, marriage would add a layer of happiness to my life if I was a) married to the right person; b) married at the right time (and most of these girls aren't older than twenty-two); and c) a happy and mentally healthy person in my own right. But marriage without all three (and a good deal of effort) would detract from my happiness. I'm quite sure of that.
This...philosophy...< /voice dripping with distaste > is not an official part of what the LDS church preaches, which I should make clear in fairness to the church. However, some things that are officially church doctrine can be taken that way, especially out of context. What truly saddens me is that these girls--most of them sweet, well-meaning young ladies--felt that these remarks, taken out of context, were Words From God. That nobody except me in that room, apparently, felt that they had been taken out of context or that they stated an extreme that was innappropriate or unhealthy. My lord, what a culture!
I sat there with my shoulders shaking so hard that three different girls asked me if I was all right. But the truth was, it was either laugh or cry...and laugh won by only a very, very slim margin.
Of all the...I can't think of a horrified enough word, frankly.
So I went to Relief Society (the women's group at my church) today, and the lesson was on "strengthening marriages, homes, and families." Now, being a church for single people, we generally focus on strengthening the families we were born into or the families that we create amongst ourselves--roommates and so on. Which is all very edifying and a good thing to do. But no. Today's teacher wanted to teach us about what marriage can do for us.
Now, I am not decrying marriage. I have seen many wonderful examples of it, and I know that it can be fun and fulfilling and a wonderful thing to have around. You only have to read about
kaalee and her copilot, or thetreacletart and Mr. Tart, to see that having a committed, loving romantic relationship, sharing your life with someone, can be a fantastic thing if you're both working for it to be so. And I hope that someday--way down the line--I will find someone who I know and trust enough to commit to them in that way. I am a firm supporter of marriage as a way to enrich people's lives. HOWEVER, I object to spending an hour being told that 1) women needed men in the past to provide food and roofs over their heads and had no choice but to be married; and 2) women still need men because they are not complete without them. Hi, my name is Lu and I'm not a person.
Seriously! An hour spent discussing how we should always be ready to get married as soon as we're proposed to, how we should always be reading books on how to maintain a marriage and raise children, how God wants us, above all else, to be married.
I'm sorry, my God wants, above all else, for me to be happy. Yes, marriage would add a layer of happiness to my life if I was a) married to the right person; b) married at the right time (and most of these girls aren't older than twenty-two); and c) a happy and mentally healthy person in my own right. But marriage without all three (and a good deal of effort) would detract from my happiness. I'm quite sure of that.
This...philosophy...< /voice dripping with distaste > is not an official part of what the LDS church preaches, which I should make clear in fairness to the church. However, some things that are officially church doctrine can be taken that way, especially out of context. What truly saddens me is that these girls--most of them sweet, well-meaning young ladies--felt that these remarks, taken out of context, were Words From God. That nobody except me in that room, apparently, felt that they had been taken out of context or that they stated an extreme that was innappropriate or unhealthy. My lord, what a culture!
I sat there with my shoulders shaking so hard that three different girls asked me if I was all right. But the truth was, it was either laugh or cry...and laugh won by only a very, very slim margin.