(no subject)

Okay, so on the way out the door tonight, I remind my director, "You're gonna need a substitute the first week in October, I won't be here."

The tods teacher, next door to my classroom, asked, "Really? Why? Where will you be?"

ME: I'm going to Salem, Massachusettes.

TODS: What for?

ME: I'm going to a Harry Potter convention

TODS: REALLY? Do you, like, dress up and stuff? I've always wanted to know one of those people who dress up and stuff.

ME: Well, there's a dressing-up ball on Sunday, but mostly I'll just wear T-shirts with obscure inside jokes on them...

TODS: So do you have, like, a wand and stuff?

Seriously, spent half an hour answering questions like, "So will you dye your hair green?" (Answer: No. Many people will dye their hair pink, but I am not among them.) and "So where do all these freaks come from? Like, all over the world?" (Answer: Yes, they do. And I call many of them friends.) and "Do you have a broomstick? You could like, borrow one of ours, or something..." (Answer: Yes. Because since witches were modernising, rather than go with something that can be sleek and modern-looking, like a vacuum or something, we decided to go with cheap, dust-clogged plastic imitations of the original aesthetically pleasing vehicle. No, I didn't say it. But I was thinking it.)

She was fascinated. It was hysterical.

I felt like some kind of specimen in a petting zoo, being gently poked by a child who thought I was really cool but had no clue what I was.