(no subject)
Jun. 12th, 2008 12:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elucrehApologies for the bandom spam, those of you loyal enough to stick around, but I have basically been retreating into a sparkly place to hide from the fact that today, on the whole? Sucked.
Worst dizzy spell in months. All day long I've felt like I was on a boat. It is so weird to realise that it is all in my head; the ground/bed/damned stairs/etc are not actually tilting and/or bobbing up and down. Because that's what it feels like to me. And then people look at me like I'm nuts.
I missed class. I cannot afford to keep missing class, okay, but I've apparently got to stay on the gluten for another three weeks. This is just...not going to end well, but knowing that only makes it worse, because the more I worry about missing class, the dizzier I get, and the dizzier I get, the more I miss class. I couldn't walk more than three steps this morning, there was no way in hell I was getting to class, which requires three flights of stairs as well as crowds and a forty-five minute drive. I know that in my head? But this schedule is ridiculously intense and I know I can't afford to be doing this.
Stupid body, I swear to god.
So yes. I find working out "Five Things Zack Learned to Add to His Fangirl Speech...And One He'll Eventually Have To," or "Brendon Urie: Emperor's Nightingale," or just reliving Greta Salpeter banging the keyboard? To be the answer to not going omgomg I'm going to fail, I'm never getting out.
Bandom (at least the corners I play in) is sparkly flirtation and silly AUs and pointless misunderstandings that end in romance, and I need a place to play, a place full of glitter and fluff, while everything else falls down around my ears.
So try to bear with me, all of you whom I've met in other ways, with my intense focus on something that really doesn't interest you at all...feel free to ignore it. I'm not asking that you fall in love with these boys or understand why I have. Just try to be glad that I've found a happy place, regardless of who/what occupies it.
Worst dizzy spell in months. All day long I've felt like I was on a boat. It is so weird to realise that it is all in my head; the ground/bed/damned stairs/etc are not actually tilting and/or bobbing up and down. Because that's what it feels like to me. And then people look at me like I'm nuts.
I missed class. I cannot afford to keep missing class, okay, but I've apparently got to stay on the gluten for another three weeks. This is just...not going to end well, but knowing that only makes it worse, because the more I worry about missing class, the dizzier I get, and the dizzier I get, the more I miss class. I couldn't walk more than three steps this morning, there was no way in hell I was getting to class, which requires three flights of stairs as well as crowds and a forty-five minute drive. I know that in my head? But this schedule is ridiculously intense and I know I can't afford to be doing this.
Stupid body, I swear to god.
So yes. I find working out "Five Things Zack Learned to Add to His Fangirl Speech...And One He'll Eventually Have To," or "Brendon Urie: Emperor's Nightingale," or just reliving Greta Salpeter banging the keyboard? To be the answer to not going omgomg I'm going to fail, I'm never getting out.
Bandom (at least the corners I play in) is sparkly flirtation and silly AUs and pointless misunderstandings that end in romance, and I need a place to play, a place full of glitter and fluff, while everything else falls down around my ears.
So try to bear with me, all of you whom I've met in other ways, with my intense focus on something that really doesn't interest you at all...feel free to ignore it. I'm not asking that you fall in love with these boys or understand why I have. Just try to be glad that I've found a happy place, regardless of who/what occupies it.
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(no subject)
Date: 2008-06-12 09:30 pm (UTC)