The world is ending

[elucreh]

I never realised, exactly, how much STUFF I own. I mean, yes, I've always known I had an extremem case of packrat-itis, but it never really hit me how much it all means to me.

Yesterday we started packing u p my room. All that energy wasted...I spent hours agonizing in case the doll that I wanted was gone before I had saved enough...and now the only ones I'm keeping were gifts, and I'm only keeping two of those...

All my pictures down, all my knicknacks packed away...the room is so bare. Mom and I spent a couple of hours just talking, talking, talking...about Grandma Phyllis and Gram, about packing and life...

I have so few memories of Grandma Phyllis...Just that one birthday, the wind blowing dust in my eyes and making the birthday wishes...laughter echoing in warm, buttery, periwinkle twilight...

And I have lots of memories of her dying...her funeral, how badly we wanted to go...that early morning rocking, after Mama told me that she had died...the little bag of hers I got afterward...

Gram, of course, I remember more about...but real MEMORIES, the sound of laughter and affectionate exasperation when Natasha Jane spilled all over...bagels in the dining room, asking to use the spoon collection...prisms dancing rainbows all over the kitchen...cherry-coloured snapdragons and the smell of earth...

I realised that most of my clear memories are of light...lamplight, rainbows in sunshine, twilight, green-filtered light...I suppose it's part of the "visual learner" thing...but light has a great effect on my memory...

Comments

[maybeimcrazy.livejournal.com]

aww. nik hasn't packed yet, he doesn't leave for a month. but he went down for a few days to check everything out, and he came back and told me that it was really nice and that i would like it a lot and that i should consider going there. he said when it's time for him to leave, he wants me to come and help him move so i can see it down there. :)

[elucreh.livejournal.com]

That's a great idea! I just have my mum and dad going down, of course, but I hope you get see it and enjoy your trip!