This update page is TEH ULTIMATE Stupid. Thank you.

[elucreh]

You know you've read too much slash when...

You read an entry in hp_qotd and think...I don't remember signing up for a "Queer of the Day" community...? And in that entry the cut tag reads..."Hate Mail Began to Arrive" and you see it as "Het Mail Began to Arrive." Far more heinous!!

I have been exercising! A solid forty minutes plus seven laps a day. Plus lots of tag with the 3/4s.

Oh, yeah,

I want to reassure her that in order to keep my sense of self, sexiness, and immunity to anorexia, I listen to the following (and sing along, loud) on the way home from the gym every night:

Once upon a time
Girl, I was just like you
Never let my extra large
Largesse shine through

Hair was brown and nasty
Never had no fun
I hid under a bushel
Which is easier said than done!

Then one day my grandma
Who was big and stout
She said you gotta love yourself
From inside out

And just as soon as I learned
How to strut my
Funky stuff
I found out that the world at large
Can't get enough so...

Bring on that pecan pie
Pour some sugar on it, sugar
Don't be shy
Scoop me up a mess
Of that chocolate swirl
Don't be stingy,
I'm a growing girl

I offer big love
With no apology
How can I deny the world
The most of me

I am not afraid
To throw my weight around
Pound by pound by pound

Because I'm...

Big, blonde and beautiful
There is nothin' 'bout me
That's unsuitable
No one wants a meal
That only offers the least
When girl we're servin' up
The whole damn feast

Slice off a piece
Of that porky cheese
Then take a look inside
My book of recipes

Now, don't you sniff around
For something fluffy and light
I need a man who brings
A man-sized... Appetite!!

I'll use a
Pinch of sugar and a dash of spice
I'll let ya lick the spoon
Because it tastes so nice

I'll keep it in my oven
'Til it's good and hot
Keep on stirring til it hits the spot

Because I'm...

Big, blonde and beautiful
And Edna girl, you're lookin' so
Recruitable
Why sit in the bleachers
Timid and afraid
When Edna,
You can be your own parade!

TRACY
So? How 'bout it, Mama?

EDNA
Well, I am big, I am blonde... ish, and if you say
I'm beautiful, I guess I'm beautiful. OK, I'll do it!

ALL
Yeaaa!
Look out old Baltimore
We're marching in
'And we ain't shufflin'
Through that old back door

EDNA
And Tracy, I will join the fight
If I can keep up this pace

WILBUR
And girls, I'll be right at your side
If I can find some space

MOTORMOUTH
So you can
Hold your head up
Just as big as ya please
You know they'll hear me knockin'
With the two of these!

MOTORMOUTH & ENSEMBLE
Tomorrow, side by side
We'll show the world what's right

EDNA
Looks like i'm touchin' up my roots tonight!

MOTORMOUTH & ENSEMBLE
Then we'll be
Big, blonde and beautiful
It's time to face the fact
It's irrefutable

Can't ya hear that rumbling?
That's our hunger to be free
It's time to fin'ly taste
Equality...

Comments

[adidi.livejournal.com]

hahahahaha i love the song.

[wildebeth.livejournal.com]

Goo? I have no idea what that song is from lol. But hell yes for feeling sexy.

*shakes it*

[elucreh.livejournal.com]

Mmmm...do I have your mailing address? I think you would love so many of these songs...

[wildebeth.livejournal.com]

You should. I'll mail you something as soon as I have time, then you'll definitely have it. ;)

[elucreh.livejournal.com]

I need to do a Christmas Card poll

[gryfindormia.livejournal.com]

Yeah, should have a C.C. poll myself, as well.

Whose song is this? I want!!

[elucreh.livejournal.com]

It's from Hairspray. You have heard it, like, six million times!

[adalanne.livejournal.com]

I had that song in my head the other day and thought of you. ^_^