(no subject)

Just for the record: My computer SUX. SUX SUX SUX SUX SUX.
( Explanation of the above statement. )

In other news:

I was struck by the fact that now we stare at a blank screen as opposed to a blank page when we're blocked. This strikes me as a truly potent symbol of our society.

Someone in my Success Disc. Group is also from Sandy, UT. Small world, eh?

Was inspired by someone saying that the devil is embodied by Internet access and now playing with vindictive poem/possibly prose piece. I'm very good at hostily descriptive prose pieces and I think this one may come out well. Esp. with recent events (see above).

Must go to library and pay two weeks of fine. *sigh*

(no subject)

Well.

Well.

My grandmother is dead.

Wow. It doesn't seem any more real when I type it.

We've been expecting it for years, there were so many things wrong with her and really she just had a relatively painless/peaceful end (heart attack) and it's really for the best. Really.

Oh...

I can't seem to...to talk about it. Dang.

I've got to. Nothing is real that is not written about.

I'm so glad...so very, very glad...that when she called to wish me luck that I was patient with her and that the last things I said were "Thanks for caring" and "I love you, too." I just keep focusing on those stupid pink peppermints that she was always hauling around. And the sound of her voice when she was trying so hard not to laugh at me for calling her "Lenore" like the daycare kids instead of "Gramma 'Nore." And then the part she played in really one of my nastiest childhood memories floods into my head and I push it out because that's not the way I want to remember her or be thinking of her, especially right now. And then I'm back to the peppermints. I want those peppermints. Pepto-Bismol pink and tasting. About the size of a quarter and a nasty powdery texture to them. But they were her special pocket-treats and I want some.

And I want Amy and Kimi and Jess. I want my friends to be here, right now, and to have their arms wrapped around me while I cry.